Tell your inner critic to fuck off.
Therapy for self-esteem in Glasgow & online
Stop the inner battle between who you think you “should be” and who you actually are.
Low self-esteem gets in the way of living an authentic and fulfilling life in so many ways.
If your inner critic is running the show…
You focus more on the one thing that you did wrong, instead of all of the things that you’ve done right
You’re constantly thinking the best of others, but scrutinise your every move
You spend a lot of energy trying to please others who don’t really treat you that well
You can’t let go of relationships that bring you more harm than good
You find it difficult to set healthy boundaries or say “no” to others
You don’t try new things (even if you really want to) because you’re convinced you’ll be terrible at them before you even try
You might also struggle with…
Overthinking
You’re lying in bed at night, replaying every conversation you had that day, looking for where you made a mistake, said something stupid, hurt someone’s feelings or could have done better. Or you’re playing over imaginary scenarios of what you should have said instead, in order to not make the same mistake the next time. You get lost down rabbit holes of “what ifs” and “should haves”.
Feeling stuck
You judge yourself for feeling the way that you do, as though you just shouldn’t. Why are you still feeling this way? Isn’t it silly to still be beating yourself up over things that happened such a long time ago? No matter what you’ve done, you still keep coming back to the same problems from your early life.
Feeling “Not Enough”
For as long as you can remember, you’ve never felt like you’re “enough”. Not for family, friends, romantic partners, school or work, despite being someone who aims for perfection. You have a constant background narrative running through your head that says things like “what’s wrong with me?”, “why did I say that?”, “why can I never get things right?”. No matter what you say or do, there’s always something you should have done instead.
People Pleasing
When you’re worried about being liked, especially when you don’t really like yourself, you might find yourself giving and giving and giving to others. Sometimes to the point that it feels like you’ve got nothing left to give. You’re deeply afraid that if you stop giving to others, they’ll have no reason to want to keep you around. Others love how generous you are, but don’t return it very often if at all. You don’t want to point this out because you’re worried it will upset them, and you’ll end up losing them. You’re stuck in a loop of people-pleasing and conflict avoidance and end up feeling frustrated and unappreciated.
Loneliness
When you perceive changes in the way people relate to you, you automatically think that you’ve done something wrong. You have trouble with conflict in relationships, and can’t help but think that you’re the problem. After a while, you notice that you’re spending more and more time alone, and even when you’re with people you don’t feel like you’re connected.
Feeling “Too Much”
When your anxieties are minimised by friends and family, or even yourself, you’re left feeling like you’re “too much” or “too sensitive”. This can make you retreat within yourself, and not want to share but at the same time you’re driven to ask others for reassurance. You start hiding your worries and vulnerabilities from others to avoid feeling like a burden.
It might feel impossible now, but you can feel confident and secure in yourself. You can be as kind, gentle, and generous to yourself as you are to others.
You can genuinely feel like you are enough.
And I can help you get there.
My approach to building healthy self-esteem starts with understanding how your inner critic got its confidence to tear you down. What happened in your early life? What are your current core beliefs about yourself? What rules do you consciously or unconsciously live by, and are they helpful?
You’ll learn about the vicious cycle of automatic thoughts and behaviours that feed the inner critic, and how to interrupt the pattern in different ways. You’ll begin to look for evidence to prove that your inner critic is wrong, and how to build up a new, more positive belief about who you are as a person that can’t be knocked by perfectly normal and human experiences like making mistakes.
Therapy for self-esteem can help you…
Break patterns of negative self-talk
Improve your self-esteem
Build self-compassion
Honour your emotions and needs
Prioritise yourself without feeling guilty
Create healthy boundaries